I remember this incident clearly. There was a module in semester 5 that required us to do a group project. Naturally, friends would say: ‘let’s do this assignment together! Better than with someone I don’t know.’ Who would say no?
And so H, J, T were in my group (H and K were best friends). Things started smoothly. Everyone played his part. However, we were soon bombarded with assignments and quizzes. K started to miss deadlines, and then began to be absent from group meetings. We tried messaging K, but K seldom replied.
After missing 2 meetings, we finally saw K at the canteen. Determined to find out what happened, we approached K.
‘You’ve been missing meetings, you’re sick or something?’
‘Nope. Busy.’
‘But you can’t give up on us! We’re busy too! And it’s supposed to be a TEAM EFFORT!’
‘Okay, then go ahead and strike my name off. I’m busy now. Got to go.’
We were speechless. My first thought was, ‘he was so irresponsible!’ Then anger set in. H and T were shocked, especially H, who was upset at how K had reacted to his kind intentions. Nonetheless, we decide to share K’s workload and carried on with the project.
H and K drifted apart after this incident. We never found out what happened to K.
Perhaps it was the fatigue and stress from the heavy workload.
Perhaps something happened to K that we didn’t know.
Perhaps K was undergoing some personal problems and needed some time on his own.
Perhaps we should have shown more empathy to K and tried to help him out.
Or perhaps, as H said, ‘projects and best friends don’t mix!’
What would you do if you were in my group?
Figure: We need to recognize and successfully respond to conflicts early before they escalate into something bigger. Conflicts, if resolved effectively, can allow the team to understand each other better, and better harness the benefits of working in a team.
